sometimes you just read something and it seems like it should all make sense because the sentences are all complete and the person is obviously not a drooling idiot, however it is at those times that you wonder if your brains have been devoured by aliens:

(this is an amazon book review for bill o'reilly's new children's book...)

"In this tightly-packed, lubricious tome, Mr. O'Reilly presents sound, family-oriented advice for children growing up under the constant assault of militant liberalism. After reading this book for myself (I've recently decided to begin prescreening everything for my children), I assigned it as required reading for my kids. "The O'Reilly Factor for Kids" provided the perfect opportunity for me to slip some good, homespun morality in through the backdoor to counter the constant barrage of nudity, swear words, sex, anti-Christianity, homosexuality, and socialism that the likes of Hollywood, MTV, CBS, and PBS subject my children to. Indeed, there are reams of subtle (and not-so-subtle) leftist tracts aimed at corrupting our children's minds, and very little to counter it.

I'm happy to say that although this book is short, Mr. O'Reilly manages to cram a lot into every passage, filling the book up with useful tidbits. It's not perfect, but the mistakes are few (I only had to redact a single paragraph). It was no doubt hard work for Mr. O'Reilly to push his way into the publishing market against this river of crap, but he did it and has certainly found a pleasing niche in which to operate. I cannot thank him enough for this hard work!

Trust me: this book has had a big impact on my kids. It wasn't a month ago that I found myself literally shaking with pent-up frustration. In mere weeks, O'Reilly has helped me to be free of this tension, and now all I feel is sweet, sweet relief. Since the book is written by a famous person well-known and respected by children, you can be sure they'll read it and take it seriously, unlike if it had been written by some bloviating pedagogue.

I can trust my kids to do the right thing and grow up to be good now that they have a true American role model like the Big O!"